Though a reprobate, Taurenpunter was the only gnome with the brass balls to punt a tauren.
“Yeah, I punted tauren, sure, and I’d punt another one if it were here,” Taurenpunter said while fingering his glass.
“Do you have any experience with Shaman?” Fidesa asked.
“Shaman, Warrior, Hunter, if it’s a tauren I’ll punt it,” Taurenpunter said.
“His name is Raymond. He lives in Orgrimmar. He is one of Thrall’s lovers. Are you ok with that?” Fidesa asked.
“If he is a tauren, I’ll punt him, anywhere, anytime, any class, any spec” Taurenpunter said finishing off his [Volatile Rum]. He called for another.
“We are going into Orgrimmar, we plan to kill Raymond, Jax and Thrall in one fell swoop,” Fidesa said, finishing her [Cheap Beer], “Do you have weapons, armor, a mount?”
“I do,” Taurenpunter replied, “and better than yours, but maybe not better than his,” he pointed at Dale. Dale was sitting at the table with his [Ashkandi, Greatsword of the Brotherhood] strapped to his back. “How’d a Paladin get such a sword? I’m not implying you ninja’d it or anything, but you are in , isn’t that a fishing guild?” Taurenpunter asked, taking a sip of his fresh, neat glass of [Volatile Rum].
“We didn’t come here to answer questions, but to ask them,” Dale said.
Taurenpunter looked a little tipsy and getting tipsier. “What about that hunter over there, ‘Legolas’ what kind of name is that?” Legolas shadowmelded.
[Bartleby] took notice and stumbled over to the table. He leaned into Taurenpunter, breathing a heavy, thick liquor breath, “I bet you couldn’t punt me you gnome, gnome….I’ll punt you!” “Go sit down somewhere you drunk” Taurenpunter replied. “Why don’t you go sit down somewhere you drunk” Bartleby came back. “I am sitting,” Taurenpunter said. “Well then sit on this” Bartleby pushed Taurenpunter out of his chair onto the floor of the Pig and Whistle.
Dale stood up, raised his hand, dropped his [Hammer of Justice]! Bartleby hunched over, stars circled his head, his crop-top chain mail shirt dangling. Hearing the ruckus the Stormwind guards came in, secured Bartleby, and escorted him out.
Taurenpunter picked himself off the floor, finished his second [Volatile Rum]. “I’m in,” he said to Fidesa, “Have you been to Silithus?”
“Yes,” Fidesa said.
“You know there are networks of tunnels there, I hear they reach underground as far as Orgrimmar” Taurenpunter said.
“They do,” Shin said.
“You know this for sure?” Taurenpunter asked Shin.
“Yes, I am sure, but it is a long way to stealth; it is dark and bug filled and there is a Horde guild patrolling it called ,” Shin said.
“Rats,” Taurenpunter said.
Read on Reddit at: https://www.reddit.com/r/Grobbulus/comments/i605uz/a_wolf_in_wolves_clothing_grobbulus_fan_fiction/