Haven’t been very active for a few years, and I vividly remember him being the forum contributor with the biggest IQ and the highest entertainment value.
Is he still here?
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Yeah he’s the one with a purple ultralisk profile picture and a barcode name LOL. Still pumping out entertaining posts by the way
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Hold on sir. I thought I’m the biggest entertainment value? What about jokes like:
-knock knock
-who is there
-ULTRALISK LOL U DEAD NO COUNTER
Arent they most valuable? I appreciate tehbatz and all I GUESS but ranking him top 1? Hello, I’m there for like over 10 years? Duke no funny for you? Maybe you no like Duke jokes at all? Okay, sorry for a bit of offtopic but how could you rate Duke jokes in the scale of 1 of 10?
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I’m feeling very uncomfortable right now.
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Batzy joined the foreign legion in order to free ukraine and beat his biggest commie rival that is named Goba.
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Oh are they still at odds? I haven’t been up on it lately. I remember when they were literal butt buddies.
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Update me on the dramas!
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TBH, I kind of miss it. You always knew what the conclusion was, but the mental gymnastics he displayed to arrive at that conclusion was so entertaining. I mean, this guy was able to convince himself that an entire population of people (Zergs) were “just better” and that when a single person (Maru) overperformed, it was because of imbalance.
Nowadays we don’t really have anyone like that and the forums are a lot less entertaining now.
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winter made a video with a click bait title recently, saying that zergs are just better
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I don’t find the fact that someone you’ve heard of also believes something stupid to be compelling.
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Your opinion became irrelevant the millisecond you called this “12% bodyfat”:
https://i.imgur.com/v4qtGPn.jpg
To be clear: that’s relaxed, no flex and no pump, after the babes’n’I rolled into a hotel in Trinidad. Batz’n’babes be like:
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Good job thats a forearm. I guess most have one. I know that on average people have less than 2 forearms so i like that you celebrate your forearm. You rock!
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Lmao. Captain Dorito here doesn’t realize that not all forearms are created equally. Do you know how many babes I catch staring at me in random places? It’s all thanks to SC2. If not for ripping out 4,000 apm for 60 minutes straight each and every game, I’d look like a dweeb:
https://i.imgur.com/7sOm87C.mp4
All you have to do is get Grandmaster in SC2 and then you can record your forearms at random chicks’ apartments, too.
BICEP FLEX
CHECK MY FOREARMS
BRO HOW YOU FEELIN’?
FEELING GOOD AS HELL! GOOD AS HELL! 
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Right… SC2…
h ttps://i.redd.it/4h4podzzsow61.jpg
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The key is to swap which hand is the dominant hand.
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https://i.imgur.com/c3Qaz9b.mp4
So this chick I stayed with for a bit was really into teardrop trailers. She thought they were so “cute” (whatever that means). She showed me all these different ones on youtube. She’s a real Q T so I couldn’t let an opportunity go to waste. So, when I got home, I decided to build my own RV. I started with an 8.5x12 utility trailer that I had sitting in my backyard for years, used a grinder to cut off the guard rails, and hit it with a fresh coat of paint. A sub frame was added on followed by a plywood floor. I used my CNC machine to cut curved beams for the walls and roof, giving it a sleek shape that looked sexy A F. From there exterior panels were installed (aluminum), and a gel coat of fiberglass resin was blasted over the exterior which was sanded at 400 grit followed by 2k urethane clear (with color changing pearl in first 2 coats). 3.5" insulation was installed in the walls, and electrical was added for 12v and 115v. Cupboards were installed, a sink and a propane grill, a shower and toilet, followed by two bunk beds that can fold up against the wall. Six solar panels were installed on the roof, a generator, and a set of brakes off of Amazon. I was ready to roll.
So this QT babe had a family campout planned in Colorado. She invited me and I offered to bring my truck and let her ride with me. She had no idea I was bringing an RV. I had been secretly letting her design it. You know, “If you had an RV, what color would you paint it?” and “In your wildest dreams, what features would you add to it and what would the layout be?”. She loves designing that sort of stuff. She’s always designing layouts for houses for example. So I pull up to her house to pick her up and the WTF look on her face was priceless. I was bombarded with a barrage of comments, “Did you rent this?” and “Oh I love the color” and “This layout is exactly how I’d design a trailer” and the gears were turning in her head and she finally said “Did you make this?”.
So we load up all her family’s sht into my truck and trailer (they were going to take a minivan) and I am loaded up to the brim. Not to worry, my 6.2 liter can take anything. We head out to Colorado and it’s not long until we end up on some winding mountain roads and I have to downshift. So here we are doing 50 mph and she starts to panic. “Are we going to make it up the hill!” etc. Of course we are, babe, this thing could do 90mph up the hill if I wanted to but I want to save gas. Gas is legit 5 bucks a gallon, bro. So anyway she is panicking. She is sure we aren’t going to make it up the hill. Of course we do, but on the other side it’s a narrow, winding road with a steep drop off on the other side. She starts to panic about how there is no guard rail, and how there are so many people pulled off to the side to cool their brakes. She is legit having a panic attack. So I ask her if I do ambulance noises if it would help and proceeded to do “WEEEE OOOO WEEEE OOOO WEEE OOO” noises with my mouth. “WHY WOULD THAT HELP!” she screams as she braces her chair to which I respond “You know, that way you can feel comforted that help is on the way”. “I DON’T WANT HELP TO BE ON THE WAY!” to which I respond “Oh, you don’t like help, huh?” and before long she was so frustrated she’d forgotten about the hill entirely. I was doing everything I could to not bust up laughing but eventually I couldn’t hold it back. She started out with “This is NOT funny” but eventually she was giggling too.
So that was my trip to Trinidad, Colorado. You thought I’d gone to the Carribean when I mentioned Trinidad eh? What a loser. I’ve never built an RV before. It’s all about strategic planning, bro. It’s all thanks to SC2 and the Bnet forums (aka Losers. net). All the strategizing about builds and arguing with people. It builds the skills to plan out complex strategies and then to actualize them. People ask me how I know so much sht about so many things; they will ask me where I got my higher education from. I got a degree in from Bnet university. “Oh wow where is that based from?”. They legit think it’s a real university because of my insanely high IQ. My brain is so big my skull is about to rupture. The veins in my head are bulging as I answer.
I legit had 3 people stop me at gas stations to ask me about my trailer, bro. They were amazed. They were like touching it and all “How did you do this?” and “I love this thing and that thing”. Thanks, Losers. net for all you’ve done for me. My IQ wouldn’t by over 9000 without you losers. Every-time I log in I prepared for a hoard of trolls to use the most extreme mental gymnastics imaginable to undermine every point I make. It’s like a battle bro:
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Your mistake here was not adding an ambulance siren to your vehicle in the first place.
You really need to step up your game. How do you expect the ladies to keep climbing atop your baobab hands free if you don’t put in the efforts to properly impress?
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That’s a great idea for a follow up prank. Well, some things just can’t be planned for. That is what wit is for. You have to know what to say in the heat of the moment. There was a legendary comedian who was famous for his ability to joke about anything on cue. The person interviewing him tried to think of something that is impossible to joke about and asked the comedian to make a joke about The Queen. The comedian replied instantly, “The Queen, good Sir, is no joke.” What an absolute legend.
I don’t think you understand. First, that’s how my arms are naturally. It’s the high T. While carrying me, my mother dodged the phthalates in plastics like Neo in The Matrix. Not this time, government. I could sit on my butt eating 6 slices of pizza every meal for months and I’d still look like that. Initially I didn’t realize how gifted I was. I’d go to the gym once a week and look like Mike Mentzer. I assumed my workout routine was the bomb, bro. I’d lecture everyone about how they were doing their workout and diet wrong. What I should’ve said is: Step 1) be bAtZ. So there really isn’t any effort involved in it. As philosophers of ancient times used to say:
“I exist therefore I am ripped” - Rene Descartes.
Second, the great reward for this tremendous lack of effort is that I am stared at everywhere I go. The key is to wear a shirt with tight cuffs and then roll up your sleeves, bro. The veins will be popping like they are about to burst. You can’t just cut a hole out of your shirt and show off your abs everywhere you go, but you can show off your chiseled face and shaped forearms/hands. It’s the first thing every babe notices. This more or less sums up the experience:
https://i.imgur.com/s57UDEQ.png
That’s that strategy I learned from being GM at SC2. You learn to psychoanalyze your opponents. You play strategies that are only good because you’re so far into your opponent’s head you are reading their thoughts before they think them. It’s a lot like the acting/entertainment industry. It’s about catching your audience’s attention, then leading their eyes to different focal points to tell them a story. In SC2, that story is a false narrative about what’s going on. That way you can exploit their improper understanding of the game.
When going to the pool, I have a pair of swim trunks that have bright pink flamingos. I throw on some matching pink sunglasses, flip flops, and toss a pink towel over your shoulder. Lots of people stare at the ground. They see the flip flops, look up and see the flamingos, trace your abs and pecs all the way up to your deltoids and then your face. You can see every movement of their eyes as slack enters their jaw. Women love pink, bro. The whole sight is so shocking their brain legit doesn’t have the power to keep their jaw up LMAO. That’s when you tilt your sun glasses down, make eye contact with them and give them a quick “sup” head tilt. Alternatively, you can give them a one-handed finger gun and a “sup” head tilt. With the other hand you grab your towel and change it from being over your shoulder to being around your neck, giving you a chance to break eye contact as you tilt your head to put a towel around your neck. You keep on sauntering by, knowing they are staring at your back. 
What on Earth is a bro to do if not for SC2? Think of all the poor losers out there who never played SC2 and never learned to strategize. What a darn shame. 
LMAO this reminds me of highschool art class. I used to draw these trees all the time. Girls used to giggle all the time and get embarrassed when they came over to see my sketches / paintings. I never quite understood why. Then, one day, this emo chick asks if she can see what I am working on. She elaborated in a quite blunt manner. Apparently the trees had a rather phallic flavor to their style. I was drawing an entire forest, bro, and I proudly displayed it on an easel in my art class ROFL. GIGAflex.jpg. Who knew baobab trees were such a great conversation starter?
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Speaking of which, subliminal messages can allow you to assert your superior male dominance on both the opponents you need to destroy, and the women you wish to seduce.
Zerg is the perfect race for this. What you want to do is place a spire on creep, then next to it, two evolution chambers. Then, you want to start researching upgrades. Armor, attack - doesn’t matter, the goal here is simply to make it all throb.
And when I say “throb”, I say it with a very thick Spanish accent, rolling the “r” like crazy. Now, say it out loud to really get the idea.
Good. Now that your infrastructure is erect and throbbing, you want your spire to produce corruptors. Because of course you do.
The next step is obviously to start showering your opponent with the corruptors’ bodily fluids until their base is too nasty and sticky to use properly, at which point you must be prepared to type an offensive “gg” in chat, thereby reminding your opponent that you’re busy and have better things to do than waste your time watching this loser’s last desperate attempts at victory.
At this point, you have proven yourself to be a true herald of the patriarchy.
You defeated your opponent with a subpar game plan, while vigorously throbbing all the way through, and commanding them to leave the game.
There’s no mistaking it.
The male dominance…has been asserted.
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Jiminy Christmas, someone needs to get their vitamin D. I’d describe the motion of zerg buildings as more of an undulation, e.g. having a wave-like motion. I suppose you could make a comparison between Zerg’s buildings and muscular undulation since they are biological structures and they do have that appearance in their artistic style. I’d never thought of it being a masculine art style, but I suppose you could make that argument. So I guess if the Zerg race is masculine and it was controlled by Kerrigan, then SC2 is a feminist story of a woman rising to the top of a male dominated competence hierarchy and literally enslaving her male competitors in some kind of matriarchal hive-mind. Contrary to your assertion, the placement of many muscular, undulating Zerg buildings is a perpetuation of the oppressive matriarchal undertones of the SC2 storyline as it symbolizes the feminist, Kerrigan, controlling the masculine Zerg race.