I was matched with my abusive ex

Quite wrong.
People argue with me, because they try to correct me.
They hate to be corrected in return. After all think about how bad they feel when their “correction” gets corrected.

Me on the otherhand if i accept the mistake, I admit to it. Example.

That is the difference. You cannot admit your mistakes, you instead try to make excuses to save face.

Considering she claimed it was an abusive relationship, it would be far easier for her to get one. Especially if the police was informed of the abuse prior to the order.