Overview
Current Rank:
I still refuse to accept that I’m in diamond and masters.
(Can we ignore my plat tank role?)
Peak Rank / Rating:
I don’t know, somewhere where I don’t belong. I think slightly above 3500 on support is the best guess about the peak.
Where I should be:
Away from this game.
Over time, I have [climbed / fallen / maintained]:
Nothing. Maybe lost some stuff because I thought projectile heroes are useful.
My absolute favorite rank is:
I don’t have any.
Composition (At My Current Rank)
Team composition seems to always consists of:
-
Team Comp 1:
- Roadhog
- Miley Cyrus
- Hanzo
- Flashidy
- Mercy
- Ana (ay that’s me)
-
Team Comp 2:
- Roadhog
- Reinhardt
- Soldier: 76
- Pharah
- Mercy
- Ana (hello again.)
My initial hero pick almost always seems to be:
-
Tank: Zarya
That kind of tank that can very well handle stuff on her own while stil being able to help her allies when they need help.
-
Damage: Symmetra
Funny how they nerfed THE counter to double shield when it was meta.
-
Support: Ana.
Any questions?
I will usually swap to [hero] based on under these conditions:
-
Roadhog
- Pick a god and pray. Not for the betterment of others, but for yourself.
-
Moira
- If you can’t defend me, I have to take matters into my own hands. Call me a martyr, delusional, whatever, but by the end of the day, you will see me picking the flankers you failed to take care of for me from your corpse.
What seems to win us most games, with respect to composition, is:
Double hitscan double shield ultra sustain dev-favored composition.
What seems to always lead to a blowout, with respect to composition, is:
"I’m feeding like a Wrecking Ball,
I never even killed before,
All I wanted is to deck the halls!
All you ever wanted is to… re-e-port me,
Yeah, you, you really hate me!
Hero picks that I am quick to judge, but I am sometimes (or often) mistaken are:
-
Winston
-
Echo
- Reason: In hitscan meta times like these, you need the strongest will to go against your superiors. My hopes for reasonable balance have faded a long time ago, but courageous souls that Echo player are have the best chances to bring it back. Not because their experienced, because they are naive, just like teachers going into the class with optimism.
My initial round dream composition, at my rank, consists of (if I can only pick ONE):
-
Tank 1: Reinhardt
-
Tank 2: Zarya
-
DPS 1: Soldier: 76
-
DPS 2: Torbjörn
-
Support 1: Moira
-
Support 2: Ana
These hero picks destroy my rank:
Communication (Text / Voice)
I play with any form of comms [on/off] (If yes, then I may delete everything in this section but this line):
One word to describe the average comm atmosphere is:
“We need a shield tank Sym switch pls.”
What annoys me the most is:
People moving behind shields and demanding healing.
The best communication that exists at my rank is:
“Fall back!”
Some players think this is helpful, but it’s really not:
Playing the game passively.
Situations that make me uncomfortable, with respect to rank, are:
Getting a 2cp map after getting 2 2cp maps.
Situations that ease my mind are:
Not playing this game at all.
Any funny stories related to comms:
Not funny.
What I hate to see is:
Teachers giving time-consuming tests like it’s nothing and stealing our freetime, then take all the time they have and shouldn’t have to correct it and calling us the bad ones, then expecting everyone to behave like 10th century powerless French farmers.
Gameplay (At My Current Rank)
What players are generally good at:
Smurfing.
What players are generally poor at:
Pathfinding when the usual way is spammed by Hanzo.
A consistent, but problematic, behavior / habit I see all the time is:
Players of my rank getting incredibly and increasingly passive-aggressive or sarcastic over stuff they would like to launch a revolution against.
What generally gives us the best opportunity to win, with respect to gameplay, is:
Nanoboosted boosted Soldier player.
I just know it’s going to be a blowout / tough match when I see this start to happen:
Whoops, all one tricks!
What seems to dominate in my rank, with respect to gameplay, is:
Smurf.
Self-Centered Questions
Composition
What is my best quality when it comes to composition / swaps?
Always there to assist those in need and to destroy the fun for the enemies!
Where do I struggle (or fall short) when it comes to team composition?
Trust issues
How should I improve?
Eliminate all those who are wasting my time. I choose with what I will waste time, why do I have to build my schedule around something like homework, which by the way, was invented as a punishment.
Communication
What is my best quality when it comes to communicating?
No need for me to beat aound the bush, I don’t need to extend short lessons as much as possible like teachers do.
Where do I struggle (or fall short) when it comes to communicating?
Coordinating stuff.
How should I improve?
There’s no improving, just a slow descent, just like your heartrate.
Gameplay
What is my best quality when it comes to Gameplay / gamesense?
Walls are more reliable than teachers correcting exams in time.
What do I do consistently that might give me an advantage?
No one presses the advantage? Do it yourself.
Mercy’s gun deals 40 HP headshot damage by the way.
Just like how Zen’s discord lasts for three seconds when the target is out of sight, making it a built-in wallhack on a damage-focused support hero.
Where do I struggle (or fall short) when it comes to gameplay?
You may negotiate everything with me, but never overtime.
Teachers get away with it and get to slack off, not correcting tests, exams, their lives, then cry about how it all is too much and students shouldn’t pressure them like that, but also being the equivalent of a social credit meme once students are actual humans ( 
) that want to live. I see myself fitting the role just fine!
How should I improve?
Uh, so, teach, when you handed the recent tests to us after our 5-week-siege, you did’nt give me my test back. What did you give me then? Random adoption papers. Maybe you accidentaly hid them between the letters, I thought, but nö. Since you shut yourself off from our questions again, I thought that the only way to bring that back would be to just dunk it into your mailbox.
But when I was at the front door, someone, apparently your son, has greeted me and asked if I’d like to see you.
(" Ehh, smash it into his face while you still can, this might be the only way."), I thought to myself.
But all my introverted conciousness could bring out was a “Soon™”
Do not ask how, I’ve succesfully managed to hold the conversation up for solid 12 minutes.
What was beinging us together so much? Maybe suffering under the same person, perhaps having our lives wasted by a school system that doesn’t even teach us stuff that actually helps us prepare for life, like cooking and instead ignoring that in favor of learning how to analyze poems for the third time in our school career.
It’s almost as if we’re only supposed to work in our lives from beginning to the end and not supposed to actually live when we’re adults, and only if we’re really old, we can finally waste our tragic lives away. In a fragile, slow and weak body.
20 minutes in and I already wanted him dead! But a blessing emerges and his stomach rumbled.
We’ve decided to spend our time at five nights at Mcdonald’s, it could’ve been different if you guys actually prepared us for life, you know. Now don’t come with my parents should be teaching me that, they are busy working and paying taxes. Taxes that are financing you teachers.
We’ve made it to the ordering, I was able to feel how this was going to end, but NO-
stay silent, young storm and sit down. For some reason, I literally asked him if I could just order nothing. Ayayay, that face expression, but he said he’s fine with that. Because after all, I’ve used my main initial argument, you didn’t prepare your son at all for this moment, did you?
That guy gulped down a load or two, which made me think of what I cooked for myself.
I’ve taught myself more useful stuff in a week than school in a year. I consider my cooking a bit funky and chaotic, but that’s what happens when you leave a stormy introvert to his own devices.
I remembered that I managed to digest a full pizza yesterday.
I just sat there realising how screwed I will be.
And that’s where you’re realising; you’re in urgent need of the lavatory. Not soon™, not when I am at home, NOW.
Out of all people, why not this guy, he swallowed down an entire big McRightClick and is standing solid! I can just look at this place and hear my intestines restart like a windows vista.
There it was, the bathroom. That kind of public place, where you can find all sorts of stuff. In the first cabinet, which was already full, I saw four legs standing in there except of two, and they had their pants down. The second one was empty, but that was too close to the centaur in the first one. Third one? No way, whatever it is, it’s not a toilet. The fourth and last one was my only choice then. I will casually skip the details, for the sake of my classmates needing to hear this from you next time if there’s gonna be one.
But what I can tell is that the nuclear test program was succesful and I’ve had no problems.
Now, I look to the right.
What do I see?
That trashy one-layered super cheap non-recycable, slightly brown-colored toilet paper!
It looked awfully famillar with the ones at school. Not just the toilest paper, the toilet itself, the total space of the room and how it was coloured. And that’s where you see that your school or whoever responsible has spent just as much money as a fast-food chain when it came to the bathrooms.
Based on previous experiences and outcomes, I took 8 of those pieces. Pieces, because they even budged on the preforations.
I thought the 8 pieces would be the same as 2 pieces of normal human toilet paper.
But I miscalculated.
That day, I’ve suffered a surgical and tactical strike.
And that made me think about it, 'till deep into the night.
At least the centaur was still there and your son was there too, waiting for me with an unusually warm smile. I’ve talked him into returning home, because one public place is one public place too much. What did I only add to the pizza so that it would try to kill me from inside? And when I noticed the bus will conviniently come soon, he asked me: “What did you want back at my home?” “Yeah, right. Your father shut himself of from my class after giving a test, but he gave me this and I couldn’t give it back because of that.”, I said.
His warm smiile turned into that kind of smile I could’ve imagined my pizza making after trying to kill me and making me suffer a strategic strike. A smile that had written “Anime villain” written all over the place.
Just said goodbye and left, not exactly rude, but I’ve expected worse.
You can actuallly take some examples off of him, he behaves better than you.
With that, I think I made a great step towards sharing intel and communicating.
You can get the adoption papers from your son!