First of all, thank you for taking the time to read this topic and reply to it. Thank you so much.
Second, this is not a topic about bad teammates, SR, matchmaking, MMR, elos or anything of the sort.
This is about me asking for any advice you can give to get past my comp anxiety.
For the past few months, after I have reached Plat on my main (I am posting this on my alt, so as to avoid any kind of t*talking that may or may not occur if I was posting on my main), I have developed Comp anxiety. Plat is the highest I have ever gotten in this game rank wise, and I honestly did work my a off to get there. After I got to around 2.6k I started avoiding comp.
I keep giving myself excuses, like “let me play QP to warm up before I Q for comp”, ending up doing QP for 4-5 hr straight, still telling myself I am not warmed up enough and ending my gaming session with not doing a single comp match.
I am simply scared, like literally scared to Q up for Comp. I have a real life job, I do not have that much time to grind this game and every single free time I have had, especially during this pandemic when I was on vacation and I could not travel I only played OW and grined and grined hence getting from Silver to Plat on my main. I know Plat is not an achievement and many people would laugh at me being Plat but it was my highest comp achievement in this game. I have never blamed my teammates for anything. never blamed anyone for any loss, apart from myself, I blamed myself even people on my team would go 1vs6 and die, I Still blamed myself thinking “maybe I could have done something differently to help them survive”.
I have created an alt, just to practice Tank and DPS, since I am a support main and decided that this account would be my “I do not care about SR account, I just want to get better” and in the beginning it actually was that type account, but lately even this account began seeing much more of QP with the same excuses
“I still need to warm up more” and barely seeing Comp. I looked at my hours on my main and it is like 100 hr or more on QP than Comp.
No matter how much I tell myself not to worry about SR, just play the game, concentrate on yourself, forget about SR, I cannot. On this account when I was close to Gold like 1-3 games I got so nervous, trying to do whatever I can just to win and ended up losing 6 games in a row and ended up crying, literally crying.
Once again, I never not once blamed my teammates, their hero picks, their teamwork or lack there of, I never gave much attention to what they were playing. I mean I knew what they were playing and I always, always tried to complement it as a support (I have not played the supports I like the most in like a month or so in Comp, unless it was QP, just to be able to help my team comp as much as I can by going what I think was right at that time).
I just need some advice from people who and if were in my position, how to get over it? What did you do?
I want to learn to play Comp without shivering whether we will win or not. I have lost so many games due to me choking, getting so nervous that I could not see the broad side of a barn, where I failed to help even tho I could have. I know what to do every single time I play QP, but in Comp I just freeze, especially if it is a “getting to the next elo” match.
Like for example in QP, I always know when the Hog will hook and I will avoid it, when Rein will shatter and I will always avoid it etc. but in comp I feel like I am a rookie, falling into every obvious trap.
Even when I Q comp and tell myself “chill, just do your best, it is only a game, you win some you lose some, it is ok, you will get it in the end” I still fail.
If anyone has ever felt like this and has overcome it, please let me know and help me.
Thank you very much. 
