Meanwhile, in Ice Crown


The Lich King sits on the Frozen throne, tapping his foot. He picks up a Hearthstone and holds it in his hand. “Call Rafaam.” He says. The stone glows and hums for a few seconds. Eventually the stone flashes and Rafaam’s velvety voice comes through.

“This is Rafaam, SUPREME ARCHEOLOGIST! Please leave a message after the cackle. AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Hey, Rafaam! It’s, uh, The Lich King again. You know, Evil Lord of the Scourge. Still haven’t heard back on my application for your League of E.V.I.L thing. Sent it over to you through the mail. Maybe you haven’t checked the mailbox. Or maybe you did and got distracted by the elves! Ha ha! That-that’s a joke. Uhh…Just wondering if I’ve been accepted. I’m totally available. Not many people running ICC, so I’ve got free time. Travel isn’t an issue, either. I can do the whole Death Gate thing so, ha ha, you know, “Don’t need a Summon to the fight”! Ah ha haaaa…Look, if this is about Kel’thuzad, we don’t have to bring him. I’m totally cool with leaving him out of this thing. We’re not a package deal. We don’t even follow each other on social media, so he’ll never know. Unless you already got him and he told you to leave me out, which is totally crazy. You need a guy like me! I can raise zombies! You like zombies, right? I mean, you’re a mummy, that’s like your cousin, right? No, no wait, you’re not cousins, I know Ethereals aren’t undead. I am so sorry. That sounded racist. I’m not racist. Some of my servants are Orcs and Humans. I’m like the least racist evil leader. I’m sorry. Look, just…ya know, give me a holler, I’ll be here. This is The Lich King. Again. Totally available. All day. And night. So, uhhhh…keep cool! Get it? Cool? Because I’m the Lich King? And I’m cold? Because I sit on the Frozen Throne? Alright. Bye.”


“Call Rafaam.”


This gave me a good laugh. I was reading the whole thing in the Lich kings voice while imagining him talking into a phone while sitting on his Frozen throne lol.


Amazing :V I’d be down for another LK xpac.

(Mary Anne Lee) #4

This is really good!


Very nice. This is how you get a writing job.


This made my day. Thank you.


Can I have some more, sir?


This is amazing!
Can I have the permission to repost a translated version of it on the Italian forum?
Of course I will insert your credits. :slightly_smiling_face:


Sure. Go for it. I might do more later.


Is it okay if I shout this out on our podcast (Velen’s Chosen) with credit?


Incoming email —>

To: Lich King (Evil Lord of the Scourge)
cc: Deathknight Department, Archimonde (Operations), Sargeras (COO)
From: Kil’jaeden (HR Dept)
Subject: End of Year Performance Review

Dear Mr Lich King,
The management also like to express that they are very please with your past performance of striking dread and terror since joining the company. I believe we have done our upmost to provide you with the best resources and support. We made you a live sized statue, created an adventure for you(and a sizable appearance fee) and even send you a puppy! (Arfus: “WOOF!!”)

Thus, the management is extremely disappointment in knowing from a few external sources and social media outlets, of your application for the League of E.V.I.L.

As such, we will be bring forward the End of Year Performance Review for you and your Dept on the upcoming weeks, where we will also discuss of future developments.

In addition, please be informed that on April 9, 2019, you (Deathknights as well) will report to your new branch, WILD MODE. All existing Standard perks and privileges will be removed.

Liaise with Patches, while no longer in charge, but still will guide you in your initial switch over.

Best Regards