Error 395000, workarounds aren't working

Can’t log into the game on the US servers, I keep getting error 395000.
I can log into EU servers but my friends are on the US servers.
Closing the launcher and then trying to login through the game multiple times doesn’t work.
Launching in 32-bit mode doesn’t work.
My Windows firewall allows D3.
Tried uninstalling and reinstalling to no avail.
Restarted my computer, still nothing.